Evening Comics Target Trump's Controversial 'Gold Card' Visa Plan
Television's leading hosts used their evening mocking ex-President Donald Trump's recently launched visa program, called the "Trump card," describing it as a blatant cash-for-residency scheme for the rich.
The Late Show's Sarcastic Spin
Kicking off his show, Stephen Colbert offered a mock Christmas song directed at the commander-in-chief. "He's making a list, reviewing it twice, before giving that list to the officials at ICE," he sang. "The President ... ruins each thing he comes into contact with."
The focus was the controversial program which permits overseas nationals to acquire U.S. residence for an investment of a million dollars, or "top-tier" version for 5 million. The program's portal promises processing "faster than ever."
"A brief note here to wealthy foreigners: prior to you fork over the cash, what about Canada?" Colbert remarked.
He noted that the program is also intended to "squeeze cash" from businesses wishing to hire foreign workers, requiring significant fees. "That's a lot of fees, though if you register, you also get free accommodation at a hotel of your choice – provided that it's the a specific Marriott," he said.
"Unprecedented vetting the government has ever done," stated Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "that $15,000 vetting to ensure these applicants absolutely meet the standard to be in America."
"That's important, you have to prove you're suitable to be an American," Colbert responded. "The initial query: how many hamburgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"
Jimmy Kimmel's Blistering Commentary
On his late-night program, Jimmy Kimmel labeled the initiative the "U.S. Access Express Card."
"This is a card that will allow affluent foreigners to live here," he stated. "In exchange for a million dollars, you get legal resident status, you get a route to citizenship, and a president's pardon for one significant crime of your choosing."
"It might be time to update that inscription on the Statue of Liberty – to hell with your huddled masses. Give us a million bucks, you're in!" he joked.
Kimmel mocked the simplicity of the form, observing it is "tougher to start a Wordle account." He said that Trump "sees citizenship is something you can sell, like a timeshare."
"Exactly, the top people are the rich people," Kimmel joked. "That's what Jesus always said! Read it in the Bible. He says it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle if you pay the needle a million dollars."
Seth Meyers discussing Grocery Issues
Elsewhere, Seth Meyers addressed Trump's declining approval numbers during economic concerns. "Voters gave Donald Trump a another term because they were mad about the economy," he explained.
Recently, in a bid to discuss affordability, Trump conducted a briefing in front of a array of grocery items, where he behaved oddly to boxes of cereal.
"What a nice job, I think I'm going to take a few of them back to my place and have a lot of fun," Trump said. "Such as the Cheerios, I haven't had Cheerios in a while."
"He's so extremely weird," Meyers said. "Like, you're going to take them back to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What are you gonna do with those Cheerios?"
Meyers wrapped up by criticizing right-leaning media coverage of Trump's financial record. "Perhaps rather than complaining, you should give him a sparkling trophy similar to the one FIFA did," he remarked.
